Women want love, men want wives: The discourse of romantic love in young adults' future marriage goals

Abstract

abstract Marriage remains an important future goal for most young adults and continues to be a significant personal, social, cultural and economic way in which they accord value to their lives. Given the dominant culture of heterosexuality within which marriage is located, this Article seeks to understand the meanings that young men and women attach to love and marriage, and how these meanings interface with dominant patriarchal ideals. The data interrogated in this Article draws on a larger study that aimed to explore young adults' understandings of and preparedness for marriage, carried out with a diverse group comprising 208 fourth year students (127 females and 81 males) at a South African university. The findings indicate that the majority of the young men and women see marriage as an important future goal and that love continues to emerge as a gendered discourse, with young women mainly presenting idealised notions of love and romance and young men mainly presenting emotionally detached (practical) explanations in their future marriage goals. The data suggests that young men and young women are entrapped within gendered discourses of romantic love that restrict both men and women from exploring alternative positions within future ideals of marriage. It is argued that while there is some evidence of resistance underway, young men and young women largely comply with existing gender regimes that perpetuate gender inequalities and place women in subordinate positions.