‘Whingeing’ husbands: men’s practices of intimacy and inequality in urban China

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This article examines different forms of inequality within men’s practices of intimacy in urban China. Focusing on the gloomy side of intimacy described by three husbands, it seeks to unravel what stands behind the language of complaints and dislikes. The data reveals that practices of intimacy do not always entail positive feelings, but can sometimes be experienced unpleasantly. It is argued that practices of intimacy are often implicated in practices of gender, class and culture. By whingeing about how their wives fail to perform proper femininities, these men reaffirm the traditional privileges of husbands and achieve a stronger sense of themselves as the authority figure in the family, as stressed in Confucian Chinese culture. While these men demonstrate varying levels of reflexive negotiations that leave space for more marital equality, their unequal practices of intimacy serve to reinforce the existing gender hierarchy and social structure in contemporary China.