When the Good Object is also a Thief: A Memoir of Adoption.

Abstract

This contemporary Kleinian memoir explores the possible existence of an intrapsychic, adoption-specific preoedipal triad including child, birth mother, and adoptive mother that can shape the emerging mind. As an intrapsychic construct, the adoption triad comes to exist in the infantile mind, requiring that adoptees contend with four additional part-object maternal representations: a villain (bad birth mother), a victim (good birth mother), a rescuer (good adoptive other), and a thief (bad adoptive mother). The psychic complexities of this possible adoption triad are explored, with an eye to how it might illuminate the psychosocial challenges experienced by some adoptees, including dysregulated behavior, rage, dissociation, and shame. To this end, Bion's ideas regarding presymbolic, nondefensive communication and Winnicott's understanding of use of the object are invoked. Expanding the preoedipal paradigm of adoption to include the possibility of an intrapsychic, adoption-specific maternal triad can enhance our understanding of the psychology of adoption, as well as highlight the need to consider the ways in which internal objects can exist simultaneously in both dyadic and triadic paradigms.