Abstract

In this paper the author presents the observation of a toddler and her mother in a parent-toddler group. This paper considers the difficulties of separation-individuation in the ‘rapprochement subphase’, and how new developmental acquisitions and independence are linked to loss. The author reflects upon the observed mother's emotional unavailability, and how this impacted upon her toddler's capacity to negotiate this developmental phase. A significant theme in the observations was the mother-toddler struggle in reconciling aggression as a normal aspect of separation-individuation. Their use of children's literature is shown to be a valuable means which both reinforced their relationship and offered a medium through which their difficulties could be considered.

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