Wetting the bed at twenty-one: Embarrassment as a private emotion

Abstract

Embarrassment has been defined as a social emotion that occurs due to the violation of a social norm in public, which is appraised by others (what we call “public embarrassment”). We propose that embarrassment can also be felt when one violates a social norm in private, or when one appraises oneself and violates one’s self-concept (“private embarrassment”). We develop a typology of embarrassment with two underlying dimensions – social context (transgression in-public or in-private) and mechanism (appraisal by others or by the self). Of the four resulting categories, one fits with the dominant “social” view of embarrassment, whereas the other three have aspects of privacy. We generate triggers for public and private embarrassment and demonstrate their similarities in study 1. Study 2 (buying an incontinence drug) and study 3 (buying Viagra for impotence versus pleasure) replicate these similarities, and also exhibit differences in the experience of public and private embarrassment through accompanying physiological reactions, action tendencies, and behavioral consequences. Our aim is to expand the scope of embarrassment research to include private contexts and self-appraisal.