“We’ll only see parts of each other’s lives:” The role of mundane talk in maintaining nonresidential parent–child relationships

Abstract

Research on relational maintenance shows that mundane day-to-day talk is important in sustaining relationships. This study explores how absence associated with the visitation process shapes nonresidential parents’ communication with their children. Participants’ open-ended responses indicate that several factors facilitate and constrain interaction with their children during absence including their philosophy about communication boundaries, technology, and their relationship with the other parent. Participants who have limited interactions struggle to “know” their children, while those with frequent interaction with their children have access to the mundane stories of their children’s lives, which helps to maintain the relationships. This research suggests that the process of updating about what occurs during absence may be central to maintaining relationships.