Virtual mate-seeking in the urban slums of Kolkata, India

Abstract

This paper presents emerging research on young women's participation in virtual heterosexual mate-seeking in two bustees (urban slum communities) in Kolkata. I begin the paper by reviewing the context of online friendship, dating and romance in India. I show how greater educational and social achievements in the bustees are prompting some young Muslim women to pursue online friendship and mate-seeking. I explore how these young women are using schooling opportunities to learn computer skills, and using the computer to broaden their social worlds. I discuss the opportunities young women have to meet friends and partners online and how they sustain virtual relationships. For many, online friendships and mate-seeking can be a safe method to meet young men, as it reduces corporeal risks. This virtual world of relationships, however, is not entirely risk free. I discuss how the online nature of meeting young men is underpinned by discourses of distrust. Though the research group is small and participants represent a privileged population, the paper shows that virtual relationships are an emerging and experimental way young women are trying to alter their life course and expand their social circles.