Abstract
The most hurtful thing someone said to me after my son died was: ‘Was it caused by all the medication you took when you were pregnant?’ (I suffered with appendicitis when 6 weeks pregnant, and I admit I did need analgesia to cope with the excruciating pain.) Why did my friend feel the need to assign blame to the cause of my son’s death? Why could she not accept that it was simply bad luck? My already disproportionate guilt was heightened by her comments and the dagger of grief in my chest had been twisted further. I’ve since noticed this blame game is universal. It is not only commonly talked about for victims of crime (the rape victim who was wearing a short skirt), but also in the context of ill health (the patient with …
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