Abstract
1. Self-Portrait as an Empty Chair. 2. Self-Portrait as a Chair in an Empty Poem. 3. Self-Portrait as a Chair in a Room in an Empty Poem (Left on a Chair in a Room, Alone in a Poem). 4. Why Hath You Left Me on a Chair, Poem? 5. Leave Me Alone, Charlotte Bronte. 6. I Never Loved Me, Either. 7. Ceci N’est Pas Une Poeme Classical. 8. If You Leave Me, I Shall Burn Your Chair. 9. You Suck. 10. Poems Suck. 11. You Double-Suck. 12. I Burned Your Chair. 13. [a love poem like this should love] 14. If I Wanted to Write a Love Poem, I Would Have. 15. Good, the Sparrows Are Dead. 16. Irony, Poetry, Booze, Sleep, Nightmares, Harmony, Shmarmony. 17. Ha! 18. What’s a Title, Love, but Another Unilateral Decision. 19. Empty Chair, There, There; or, Self-Portrait as Samuel Beckett. 20. But My Niece? 21. I Shall Leave You First: Here’s a Poem.
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