True Love as the Love of Truth

Abstract

From the very beginning of our life until its end, we long for the mythical union with the other, which is based on a combination of moments of near-perfect harmony between mother and infant in early infancy and unconscious phantasies concerning an ideal connection and complete satisfaction (Klein, 1963/1997). Simultaneously, there lies a whole set of aggression toward, anxieties of, and defenses against the bad, frustrating object. The struggle and balance between these two attitudes are at the roots of true love. This paper addresses a few main factors that stand in the way of true love and the psychological conditions that might enable love to last: The love for the “otherness” of the other; facing the ethical challenge embedded in sexual lust; and above all and most prominent, the love of truth. A clinical example from Mitchell’s book Can Love Last? will be dreamt into an analysis taking place with the author of this paper, illustrating the main ideas presented and the way they are explored in the analyst’s mind through projective identification and worked through within the analytic encounter.