Trauma and Ambiguous Loss: The Lingering Presence of the Physically Absent

Abstract

Ambiguous loss is a traumatic loss; it immobilizes family processes, ruptures relationships, blocks coping and decision making, and freezes the grief process. Because there is no possibility of closure, there is a lingering presence of the loved one who is missing. In this chapter, we focus exclusively on the physical type of ambiguous loss. The missing person is physically absent, but the family has no assurance of his or her whereabouts or fate as dead or alive. To illustrate, we use the example of the earthquake and tsunami in East Japan on March 11, 2011, where tens of thousands of family members were swept away by the rising waters. In the aftermath, ambiguous loss remains as a loss that has no ending. Without clear facts or evidence of death, adults and children suffer with a loss that has no resolution—except perceptually. This requires a new lens. They learn to see life in a new way by balancing the ambiguity with moving forward. Guidelines are presented to help, which involve meaning, mastery, identity, ambivalence, attachment, and hope.