"Towards a Perfect Tune": Navigating the Notions of Failure, Mistake and Competence in Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy with Marginalized Mothers

Abstract

Women who have experienced their children being permanently removed from their care due to challenging life circumstances often live on the margins of society. The majority have experienced mental and physical health challenges and face many other intersecting issues. The stigma associated with losing children, coupled with a lack of support, means that these women are at risk of serious social exclusion, further exacerbating their feelings of failure, grief, and loss. The existing music therapy literature on women mostly focuses on their experiences in the context of intimate partner violence; music therapy with marginalized mothers appears hitherto unreported. This article aims to explore how notions of musical right and wrong often played into my work with the women as a Nordoff Robbins music therapist. Most of these women come from disadvantaged backgrounds and have received little or no education: involvement in music-making often evoked perceptions of correctness and progress. Women often requested that I taught them songs they liked. This could enhance their sense of failure if they were unable to play the songs as they knew them. The question of how not to perpetuate harm, whilst acknowledging my clients’ needs, became my dilemma as a therapist. The case studies discussed below highlight how, in the context of these women’s lives, experiencing doing something “right” and proving their own capacity to learn through music, could become key themes in their pathway towards recovery. This process is not, however, a straightforward endeavour and involves negotiation and commitment on the part of both therapist and client.