The vicissitudes of adoption for parents and children

Abstract

This paper attempts to illustrate how adoption is understood by children according to their developmental stages within the context of their families. Illustrations of children's thought processes and inner fantasies are presented in the form of interviews and observations. The inner thoughts and experiences of adoptive parents are also presented, from the time of the application process through infancy, toddlerhood, school age and adolescence. A major thesis is that adoptive parents who are comfortable with their own feelings about the birthparents and the child's specific history are more able to provide an atmosphere where the child feels valued when she asks questions or communicates fantasies about her story. In this manner adoption is integrated into the child's growing self-esteem and, as time goes on, the adoption becomes less important.