The (Un)Designated Mourner

Abstract

A mourner faces the difficult tasks of detaching from, yet remaining connected to, the lost object, He or she is helped, in part, by a variety of public and private memorializing activities. But what happens when the bereaved is an analyst mourning the death of a patient? The rituals designed to provide solace are not available; despite having known the patient in a most personal, intimate way, the analyst remains outside the community of mourners. This description of the analyst's experience of the untimely death of a young patient provides clinical material for how language, symbol, and community may help the analyst at a difficult time.