The Ubiquity of Hidden Shame in Modernity

Abstract

This essay proposes that shame may be one of the keys to understanding our civilization: shame or its anticipation is virtually ubiquitous, yet, at the same time, usually invisible. Since the vernacular term for shame is wildly ambiguous, a tentative definition is proposed. C.H. Cooley’s idea of the looking-glass self implies that shame and pride can be seen as signals of the state of the social bond. Theoretical work by Cooley and Erving Goffman imply ubiquity, and empirical studies by Norbert Elias and by Helen Lewis provide support. Elias’s and Lewis’s findings also suggest that shame is usually invisible; Elias stated this proposition explicitly. Furthermore, like other emotions, such as fear, shame can be recursive, acting back on itself (shame about shame). In some circumstances, limitless recursion of shame may explain extreme cases of silence or violence. To the extent that these ideas hold true, there would be an urgent need to apply them to many of our most crucial social and political problems.