THE TOAST

Abstract

1 5 7 R T H E T O A S T S T E P H E N K A M P A Although he’d never meant to, he’d become A secret-keeper, keeping not His own but others’ secrets. It had started When he was young: he caught His cousin, whom he’d always thought kind-hearted, Flooding a teeming formicarium With steaming maple syrup, and felt he ought To say – well, something, something none too kind, About the fact; but nothing came to mind, And after that, his cousin was inclined To tell him everything. That was his first Secret, a whopper by no means His worst. He seemed to witness, in the flesh, The most degrading scenes Flash-frozen in his memory like fresh Blackberries sealed in Ziploc bags, seemed cursed To kick things up – the smutty magazines His brother hid, which made his stomach drop, Or that the girl next door gave a firm cop A please-sir blowjob when she failed to stop At a red light, or that the doctor’s wife Certainly hadn’t (Doc’s words) ‘‘tripped While taking out the trash’’ to earn her cast – No, something always tipped Him o√ that Some-Such was a pederast, That So-and-So ‘‘misplaced’’ a kitchen knife When X (ahem) ‘‘skipped town.’’ He grew tight-lipped, More secretive, a turn that came to haunt 1 5 8 Y Him since it only made his neighbors want To feed don’t tells to their dauntless confidant. Lest he mismatch a secret and its source, He had to jot down notes for each On index cards. He ordered them in small Black boxes he would reach For every time his townsfolk came to call, Oozing the usual mixture of remorse And giddiness for daring to eat a peach; And one by one, during those reckless talks, They’d notice them, ubiquitous as rocks, And wonder who might find their small black box. Once they began to ask each other why He listened – loner? sadist? crank? – He felt them cool: suddenly, no one talked. He made whole rooms go blank; When he departed, doors were always locked. Soon not one soul would look him in the eye. To think of their sneers melting like a bank Of snow at the full house they’d have to face So warmed his heart, he drank – to their disgrace – A glass of Drano in a secret place. ...