The Things of This World from A to Z

Abstract

Apocalypse is at hand. The flames of the holocaust rage through the hearts and minds of all the inhabitants of the earth, from senile amnesiacs who cannot re member why their feces steam with blue fire to newborn infants chomping down on tender nipples with a fierceness never before known. Even six-year-olds return to the breast, their teeth sizzling; twelve-year-olds with silver braces flashing on their incisors; husbands, in their sleep, in the middle of the night. Irreparable harm has been Whoever thought it would take such a turn as this? The famous pediatrician to whom decades of American mothers have turned for advice on child-rearing has said, in an interview with The New York Times, that this phenomenon can only be taken as a manifestation of the act of love. At his press conference a movie star best known for her refusal to appear nude on the screen has bared her chest to show the thirteen stitches required to close the wound inflicted on her by the aging comedian with whom she is currendy ap pearing in a family-style movie. What are we to do? she cries, for all woman kind. Do not deny it, advises the pediatrician, or irreparable harm will be done.