The Secret of Love

Abstract

Abstract In the game of drive, the Eros has the role of psychically binding excitations, so that a tolerable quantity of psychic energy is maintained, avoiding a traumatic spill of libidinal energy. Freud discovers the possibility of impulse entanglement by directing destructiveness outwards through the action of the libido. When the child is insufficiently invested by the environment he develops in, his psychism will develop on a fragile foundation. This frailness can be encapsulated in a rigid protective shell that will not allow for authentic development. We speak of a narcissistic deficit that leads either to an internal dynamic that aims to repair the deficit of primary investment, or to an internal dynamic that perpetuates this deficit. Defense mechanisms specific to narcissistic functioning are idealization and devaluation, and the need for reparation can emerge only after acknowledgement of the narcissistic wound. The sentiment of one’s own worth is disturbed in both situations, the identity nucleus itself being affected. The person would feel shame, sentiments of inferiority, permanently in need of reassurance regarding his/her worth. The capacity to love will be conditioned by the establishment of a good contact with the authentic self, through valuing the self, recognizing one’s own needs and identities.