The Phenomenon of Parental Rules in Middle Childhood: A Relational Perspective

Abstract

This study investigated neglected processes by which parents create, set, and enforce rules for their children in middle childhood. Forty mothers reported their interactions with children aged 9-13 in the context of setting and enforcing rules and expectations. Data consisted of a five-day digital event diary and a semi-structured interview on parents’ implicit conceptions of rules and the process by which they set and enforced rules. The data were analyzed qualitatively using thematic analysis. Mothers’ reports departed from traditional conceptions in socialization research and family interventions that parents have explicit, stable rules that they should firmly enforce. Mothers indicated that their rules and expectations consisted of a flexible structure of infrequent firm expectations within which most other expectations were dynamically set or offered leeway for negotiation and resistance. Mothers also indicated that their rules and expectations emerged through a co-regulated bi-directional process to which parents and children contributed. The findings support transactional socialization and communication perspectives whereby parents interpret children’s behaviors and make complex choices in setting and implementing their expectations.