The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women. Susan J. Douglas & Meredith W. Michaels

Abstract

The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women. Susan J. Douglas & Meredith W. Michaels. New York: Free Press. 2004. 383 pp. ISBN 0-7432-5999-8. $15.00 (paper). This is a fun read. Susan Douglas (professor of communications at University of Michigan and of one) and Meredith Michaels (philosopher at Smith College and of five) have written a very funny and very powerful book about the new momism, a set of ideals, norms, and practices that sets standards of success that are impossible to meet, requiring a combination of selflessness (devoting herself 24/7 to her children) and professionalism (the skills of a therapist, pediatrician [Dr. Mom], consumer products safety inspector, and teacher). The opening passages contrast familiar reality of everyday childrearing with expectations of mothering. They begin with this scene-you are standing in a checkout line in a grocery store with a 3-year-old having a meltdown because you did not buy him latest Lunchables, surrounded by magazines with cover stories featuring gorgeous, moms who gush about how is sexy and how they love getting up in middle of night to feed or sooth him, while your teenager, who has not spoken in days except to say you've ruined my life, followed by everyone else has one, is sulking in car with a new rap-metal band Piss on Parentals blasting). This hellish scene transitions seamlessly into what a good would do once she got home (transform process of putting groceries away into a fun game with up-beat Raffi songs playing in background. Then while you steam broccoli and poach chicken breasts in Vouvray and Evian water, you and kids would do a jigsaw puzzle in shape of United Arab Emirates. Your husband returns home so overcome with admiration for how well you do it all that he looks lovingly into your eyes, kisses you and presents you with a diamond anniversary bracelet ... children chattering away happily, help set table and then eat their broccoli. After dinner, you all go out and stencil driveway with autumn leaves). This opener provides a taste of what is to come, both in terms of style and themes. Douglas and Michaels, both self-avowed mothers with an attitude problem, argue convincingly that this intensive mothering is just a new, hipper version of the feminist mystique. They also show how image of new, improved mom is contingent on images of delinquent, bad Indeed, one of most interesting passages describes history and import of linguistic shift from mother to mom with infantilizing/patronizing term now norm for soccer moms, stay at home moms, or celebrity moms, while mother is reserved for bad ones-single, teen, welfare, or working mothers. Because of witty style, original scholarship on which it is based is not immediately obvious. Douglas and Michaels did content analyses of news, women's magazines, television shows, Hollywood movies, and parenting manuals. Any one of these studies (imagine watching 30 years worth of news coverage on motherhood) would be impressive, and they have a lot of material to work with as they so amply show motherhood has been a media obsession since mid-80s. …