The Micropolitics of Care in Relationships between Aging Parents and Adult Children: Individualism, Collectivism, and Power

Abstract

This research examines the power and emotional dynamics between aging parents and adult children. A preliminary data analysis found intergenerational power dynamics to be associated with individualist and collectivist systems of organizing family responses to elder care. The study explores that association and what it reveals about how aging parents and adult children negotiate their expectations for care. In-depth interviews with 67 members of 20 three-generation families from the Longitudinal Study of Generations were analyzed. Aging parents in individualist families were found to have greater power than those in collectivist families who received higher levels of care. This suggests a trade-off between power and care. The data also indicate that when aging parents receive care and don't reciprocate with deference, intergenerational relations become strained, and children are likely to set limits on their caregiving. Although the literature on aging families emphasizes values of filial piety and obligation in determining caregiving dynamics, these findings suggest that exchange principles and power processes also need to be considered. Extensive research has focused on identifying factors associated with adult children's delivery of care to aging parents. However, little attention has been paid to the emotional interplay and feeling tone of relationships between aging parents and adult children and how they are related to the delivery of care. Virtually nothing is known about the power dynamics that emerge between aging parents and adult children when they negotiate their expectations concerning filial care and dependency that can shape the nature of caregiving (Kranichfeld, 1987; McDonald, 1980). In part, this is because the interactional subtleties of relationships are difficult to capture with survey measures. The qualitative research presented here examines the intergenerational power processes and emotional nuances of families with aging parents and the nature of the relationship between those dynamics and family caregiving systems. POWER Research on family power has been devoted primarily to dynamics between husbands and wives, leaving power in other family relationships sorely understudied (Kranichfeld, 1987; McDonald, 1980). This is due to concern in recent decades about gender inequality and a willingness to recognize a conflict of interest in heterosexual relationships. Meanwhile, other family relationships, such as those between aging parents and adult children, have been glorified as harmonious due to norms of attachment and filial obligation. Scholars have been reluctant to recognize power dynamics as an important feature of relationships between aging parents and their adult children. As a result, we know little about variations in power dynamics in aging families and what, if any, relationship exists between those dynamics and caregiving strategies. This research contributes to our understanding of these dynamics and does so by relying on new conceptualizations of power. Most researchers draw on Weber (1947) and define power as an individual's ability to carry out her or his will despite the resistance of others. This has resulted in measures of power that focused exclusively on decision-making outcomes and who wins when conflict is overt (Blood & Wolfe, 1960; McDonald, 1980). This one-dimensional view has been criticized for recognizing power only when conflict is manifest and ignoring less visible power processes. Covert power works to prevent issues from being raised. This occurs when more powerful individuals subtly influence the decisions of the less powerful in ways that comply with their interests. Less powerful individuals internalize the needs and interests of the more powerful in selecting actions, sometimes leading to decisions that compromise their own wishes and desires. By bowing to the interests of the more powerful-either deliberately or unconsciously-- the less powerful maintain the peace and avoid costly conflicts that they would be apt to lose (Foucault, 1980; Komter, 1989; Lukes, 1974). …