The Language of Kindness: A Nurse’s Story

Abstract

When I think about my many years as a nurse, I know that out of the vast array of experiences, there are a few moments I will always remember. Some are related to an interesting diagnosis or a highly emotional interaction with a colleague, but most of my crucial memories as a nurse come from the intimacy I shared with particular patients. Those crucial experiences are like cave paintings on my psyche— they cannot be erased. I carry them everywhere with me, and when I take the time to study them, I am deeply aware of who I am and what it means to be a nurse.In this memoir by a nurse turned novelist, Christie Watson bravely and beautifully recounts 20 years of crucial moments as a nurse. With honesty and self-compassion, she sheds light on her own cave paintings in an account that is deeply compelling. Her poignant recital of interactions with patients demonstrates a key lesson in her journey, that the smallest gestures can have the greatest impact. For instance, as a pediatric intensive care unit nurse, she recalls caring for a boy facing a life of paralysis after a car accident and telling him simply, “I am with you. Right here, all through the night.” And then recognizing to herself, “It is not enough, but it’s all I have.”A key aspect of this book is that Watson is not shy about acknowledging her own missteps and struggles. She tells of fainting when she had her blood drawn as part of her entry into nursing school and of mistaking a patient for a nurse as a student in a psychiatric unit. Later in her career, as an expert nurse, she describes witnessing suffering and knowing how to respond but being afflicted with compassion fatigue. At times, she interweaves her professional experiences with events in her personal life, adopting a son and assisting her father, ill with cancer. Returning to work after his death, she is keenly aware of how the patients she meets resemble him. We think about nursing as a professional journey, but in truth, as Watson shows, being a nurse influences and is influenced by our personal relationships.I heard about this book through a review that noted that it was not a linear story; the author jumps around among different nursing roles. To me the flow of the book makes sense, because when I recall my experiences as a nurse it is not always in chronological order. Often when we think of a patient encounter, it naturally leads us to think of another similar or related experience, which may have occurred while working in a different unit or in a different hospital. However, I think it helped me to know in advance that the account was not strictly linear. The Language of Kindness is not a simple narrative; it is a raw and real reflection on nursing.I strongly recommend this book to anyone seeking inspiration and validation as a nurse, and to those who are not nurses and want to learn more about the experience of being a nurse. I hope we will see more memoirs of this kind from nurses. Christie Watson is a strong voice for our profession, and a role model whose example we can follow.