The Juxtaposition of Graduate School and Parenthood: A Mother’s Perspective

Abstract

WHILE MY RESEARCH IS MY PASSION AND CRITICALLY IMPORTANT TO ME, IT WILL ALWAYS COME SECOND TO MY FAMILY—WHICH IS THE ANTITHESIS OF THESE UNSPOKEN, ANTIQUATED ACADEMIC IDEOLOGIES. Graduate school is becoming increasingly accessible, with many programs being created to accommodate distance and online students or modified to support flexible timelines. As a mother of a young child, I don’t have the option of quitting my job to accept a lower-paying graduate assistantship. So, I join the ranks of many other parents—men and women alike—who are pursuing graduate degrees part-time while trying to balance their jobs, families, and homes. Our student experiences look vastly different than that of “traditional” graduate students. When socializing with other grad students, I am always met with shocked faces when I mention that I am married with a two-year-old. I have come to expect this reaction because the thought of trying to take care of a young child during one of the most stressful periods of your life seems insurmountable. Though this is nobody else’s fault, it always makes me feel out of place among my peers. But why? After all, most men and women are in grad school during their peak childbearing years, with the median age at receiving their doctorate being 31.3 and 31.8, respectively (NCSES 2020).