Abstract
The lost feminine in gay men has deep ramifications in the individual psyche as well as in the collective. Gender paradigms based on patriarchy and domination of the feminine have impacted the development of gay men through the mechanism of splitting masculine and feminine into good versus shameful and safe versus dangerous psychological paradigms. The gender conundrums facing gay men are part of the larger cultural gender-identity deconstructions being elaborated within the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (LGBTQ) community. Gender-splitting, internalized violence to the self, and the problem of the masculine in gay male relationships are discussed as outcomes of the wounded feminine. The author's personal experiences of gender wounding and explorations of the unconscious through dream work serves as the basis for discussion of the wider social phenomenon of the loss of the “Girl” in the gay male psyche.
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