The experience of motherhood for alienated mothers

Abstract

This qualitative study examined the alienated mothers' experience of motherhood. Data were collected by in-depth semi-structured interviews with 10 women whose children refused any contact with them. Findings revealed one main theme, ‘Merging vs. detachment’, consisting of four subthemes or motifs in these women's narratives: (i) marriage as an illusion of salvation from an abusive home; (ii) giving birth to a child as compensation for chaotic childhood experiences; (iii) husband exploiting and abusing their sense of failing motherhood; and (iv) the husband and mother-in-law expelling the mother. These findings were interpreted within the framework of Bowen's theory. The interpretation suggests that impairment in the mothers' and ex-husbands' differentiation of the self is manifest in the shattered mother–child relations and in the mothers' loss of their children in the struggle with their mothers-in-law. Implications for practice are included.