The discipline encounter: Contemporary issues

Abstract

The central message of this essay is that neither extreme position in the reincarnated discipline controversy offers parents an efficacious model of child rearing today, any more than it did 30 years ago when the authoritative model was developed as a viable alternative to both the conservative (authoritarian) model and the liberal (permissive) model. Each extreme contains its germ of truth — the liberal permissive model, that autonomy and self-will are to be cultivated, not punished; the conservative authoritarian model, that discipline, sometimes confrontational or punitive, is required to socialize the child's self-indulgent willfulness. But each polarized model demonizes the other, and both fail to distinguish between mitigated and unmitigated agency, equating self-assertive individuality with unbridled aggression and egoism. The development of optimal competence in children requires the cultivation of the ability to disobey and accept unpleasant consequences, as well as to comply with legitimate authoritative directives. Because socialization represents the accommodative force in society, the disciplinary encounter, indeed socialization itself, has limited (although necessary) objectives.