The Ballad of Mushie Momzer

Abstract

My mother took a dump and out I came, more or less. It happened like this: I was conceived when my brother Doodya, who was also my father, sat in the privy behind the family's hovel in Vidderpol playing with his schwantz. This is what they told me, and the Jews loved telling me at every least opportunity. My mother, fat and blind, eyeballs like soft-boiled eggs, had lumbered into the outhouse to move her bowels. She hoisted the skirts of her tent-sized