The angry parent in family-oriented therapy.

Abstract

This paper is directed to the problem of parental hostility in its various forms and degrees. Hostility is defined as a destructive, negative feeling, variously described as anger, resentment, hatred and rejection. Both open and hidden forms of expression are considered, with hidden anger seen as the more damaging one. Hostility is viewed as a defensive reaction to a real or imagined threat; the hostile parent feels unable to cope with the challenge presented by the child because of multiple etiological factors coming to bear on the parent. Treatment is discussed on the basis of ventilation and acknowledgment of the hostility, with the parent being helped to accept it as a natural human reaction in the face of a challenge which is seen as both overwhelming and inescapable. The second phase of treatment is a study of the general and specific factors which impair the feeling of adequacy of the parent in dealing with this particular child. With resolution of enough of these factors, the parent is helped to feel sufficiently confident with the child so that the hostile reaction is not necessary. Then, at last, the child who has been deprived of parental love can have it once again and the vicious cycle of mutual hostility between parent and child can be replaced by a new cycle of interaction which is based to a much greater degree on mutual love and understanding.