‘Talking to My Mum’

Abstract

• Summary: Domestic violence often directly and indirectly undermines the relationship between mothers and their children. This paper describes ‘the tactics of abuse’ that are instrumental in this damaging process and draws on previous research by one of the authors which shows that a conspiracy of silence can ensue, precluding talk of the abuse that women and children have experienced. The first stage of a four-year action research process designed to address some of these issues is discussed.• Findings: Early findings show that those women and children living in refuges or using outreach services who chose to work together on activities have found the process beneficial. They have provided critical feedback about how the project and activities can be revised for the second action research cycle. The research also shows that not all women are ready to engage in this process when they enter a refuge, and it does require them to acknowledge that their children have been exposed to, and negatively affected by, domestic violence.• Applications: The implications for social workers and specifically the need to provide active support for the mother-child relationship in the aftermath of domestic violence are discussed.