Stories of strength, survival and the family violence system : women’s experiences of separating from an abusive, intimate male partner

Abstract

Despite decades of feminist efforts to educate the community about, and improve responses to, domestic violence, men’s violence against women remains a significant social and human rights issue in our society. In Australia, it is estimated that at least one in five women have experienced violence by a current or previous partner and almost every week a woman is killed by a current or former partner. Public and legal discourses about domestic violence continue to misunderstand women’s experiences of violence, frequently simplifying these to a mere question of ‘why doesn’t she leave’ the abusive relationship. Such narratives fail to account for the complicated nature of women’s lived realities, their decision-making and the family violence system. This thesis provides a more complete view of the contextual circumstances in which women separate. This thesis engages with scholarship from a range of disciplines including criminology, sociology, psychology and social work. It draws upon in-depth, semi-structured interviews with 12 women to explore their lived experiences of separating from an abusive, intimate male partner in Victoria, Australia. A unique contribution of this thesis is it contextualises women’s experiences of separating from a violent partner and the supports available to them by bringing together the stories of women and the perspectives of 19 support workers gathered via in-depth interviews and focus groups. This research highlights that understanding the dynamics of coercive control is important in recognising the significant limits placed on women’s agency when separating from a violent partner. The narratives reflect how women seek to gain ‘control in the context of no control’ by managing safety and survival via varied strategic, concealed and calculated measures aimed at reducing the escalated risk of violence associated with separation. Interactions with informal and formal supports can empower women to resist their coercively controlling partners or, alternatively, extend experiences of gendered power, control and trauma when the violence and women’s decision-making are dismissed. Overstretched and underfunded support services along with punitive social security and legal systems also place profound barriers on women gaining adequate, timely and ongoing support. The thesis makes a significant contribution to interdisciplinary knowledge about the social dynamics of women leaving violent relationships in contemporary Australia. Importantly, the stories captured in this thesis are also significant in informing public discourse about the complexities of women’s experiences when separating, along with the need for policy and practice to foster an empowering approach to support and respect women’s decision-making.