Abstract
I do have someone I want to sue - the people who make laptop batteries. Everything about laptop batteries is a lie. They don't last as long as claimed unless you're doing nothing but running a blank screensaver on a machine that isn't on the Internet. Two days after you get the laptop, of course, it doesn't even do that. Because they run down so quickly when you do anything real, you tend to keep the laptop plugged in-after you do that for a year, you own an expensive paperweight. And a new battery is expensive. That's why I have four laptops with bad batteries. Recently, some people who wanted a wall on the border got a clever idea: sending their congressional representatives a brick to make their point. Here's my idea: send a dead laptop battery to your congressional representatives. Ask them if it gives 'em a charge. This morning's paper had a story about problems with these batteries bursting into flames in untoward places such as overhead luggage compartments. So sending your battery to your congressman has a side benefit in that it transfers your risk to the government
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