Social support: The movie

Abstract

There is continued confusion and controversy about the importance of perception versus actual exchange of social support, that I argue in this paper leads erroneously to the conclusion that it is perception that is key. This paper argues that this confusion follows from the lack of study of the time sequence by which social support, and therefore its perception, is accumulated. Unless people are delusional, social support and its appraisal are created primarily as a product of real events in their lives. Most research comparing “perceived” and “received” social support actually compares perceptions of reality that have accumulated over long spans of time to a micro exchange of received support. Further, I illustrate that when social support does not behave as people expected (i.e., there are misperceptions) then people's belief systems about their support change, but, again, based on the facts. In this way, people are depicted as active operators in the support process, such that they make ongoing adjustments in their beliefs and in their actual social support by creating new relationships and how they interact in these relationships so that perceptions and reality match.