Abstract

Bereavement is a deeply personal experience that is also shaped by one’s socio-cultural context. This qualitative study explored the social support experiences and needs of spousally bereaved individuals in a South African township. The botho/ubuntu philosophical framework was used to interpret participants’ experiences in this regard. Six ethnically diverse, bereaved spouses aged 55–67years, residing in a predominantly Setswana-speaking township in the North West Province of South Africa, were interviewed. Thematic analysis was used to analyze the data. An indigenous knowledge consultant was interviewed to situate participant experiences pertaining to mourning rites and traditions within the indigenous socio-historical and contemporary cultural context. The following themes were identified: (i) Sources of social support during bereavement; (ii) Inadequate social support after spousal death; (iii) The need for grief counseling; and (iv) Social restrictions and systematic isolation during the traditional mourning period: “It is as if you smell.” Broadly, bereaved spouses drew on their support networks at various stages of their bereavement, which included family members, in-laws, friends, burial societies, their surrounding communities, and religious communities and figures. However, some experienced ostracization and stigmatization during the mourning period, which was invariably longer for the widows in this study, in line with conventions across Black South African cultures. Some participants reported withdrawal of support by their in-laws and harmful attitudes and assumptions rooted in patriarchal ideology by family members and in-laws. As pertaining to botho/ubuntu, the study also showed that communality or relationality entailed both positive and negative aspects, including support, co-operation, care, lack of support, stigmatization, and ostracization. Unlike conventional conceptualizations of botho/ubuntu, the study findings illustrate the human experience as comprising varying dimensions of relationality, ranging from harmony to disharmony. Findings regarding the negative aspects of communality are compatible with those relating to relational interdependence in African and East Asian settings. The findings also expand our understanding of the nature of disharmony alongside harmony in interdependent socio-cultural contexts.

Highlights

  • Losing a spouse to death is a life-changing event, with varying implications for survivors

  • Bereaved spouses in this study had varied experiences of social support. These ranged from the provision of social support by multiple sources, to deliberate withdrawal of support by members of their social networks and social isolation and stigmatization in the broader social context during their mourning periods

  • The study findings suggest that, relative to other sources of support beyond their immediate family contexts, religious communities are in a unique position to provide varied, accessible, and consistent support to bereaved congregants at various stages of their bereavement

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Summary

Introduction

Losing a spouse to death is a life-changing event, with varying implications for survivors. In addition to grief over losing a loved one, bereaved spouses’ sense of loss may be compounded by multiple stressors stemming from spousal death, such as loneliness, taking on new roles and responsibilities (e.g., being a single parent and a breadwinner), and adjusting to the reality of losing a primary support system in the deceased spouse (e.g., Lowe and McClement, 2010; Ennis and Majid, 2020). Social support is one of the key resources for surviving spouses when coming to terms with spousal death. This study focuses on the social support received by bereaved spouses after a spouse’s death and their social support needs. Their experiences are interpreted according to the botho/ubuntu theoretical perspective

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