Skills for “Marriage of a Lifetime”: An Examination of Muslim Marriage Preparation Handbooks in Singapore, 1974 to 2018

Abstract

High divorce rates in Muslim marriages continue to be a concern for Malay community leaders and policy makers in Singapore. Since 1969, Malay community organisations here have offered marriage preparation courses to reduce the incidence of divorce. Today, a range of such pre-marriage courses continue to be provided by the Ministry of Social and Family Development, Muslim organisations and private educational groups that are involved in marriage counselling and consultation. In this article, I examine the handbooks that have accompanied courses sponsored by the Ministry. Their content spells out the skills needed to realise a “marriage of a lifetime”. Whilst prescriptions have responded to societal changes, a closer scrutiny of instructions in these manuals unfolds notions of the ‘ideal’ Muslim husband and wife that continue to stress men as providers and women as primary caregivers. Prioritising communication skills of the individual, as these manuals do, does little to change household gender inequalities in the long run.