Shifting priorities

Abstract

We investigated whether partners in newly developing romantic relationships adjust their goals when they experience conflict with the goals of their partner, and the consequences of goal conflict and goal adjustment. Fifty-nine newly dating couples ( N = 118) reported on their goals at an initial session and again 3 months later. Multilevel models indicated that when people reported higher conflict between a goal and their partner’s goals, they were more likely to stop pursuing as well as to devalue the importance of that particular goal over time. Furthermore, goal devaluing was associated with increases in relationship commitment over time but decreases in women’s relationship satisfaction when their partners devalued conflicting goals. Overall levels of goal conflict were associated with marginal decreases in relationship satisfaction. These results indicate that romantic partners try to adjust their goals to reduce goal conflict even in developing relationships, and that these adjustments have consequences for relationship satisfaction and commitment.