Sex as a Factor in Domestic Discord

Abstract

T WO VIEWS have generally been taken with reference to the role of sex as a factor in domestic discord. One view is that sex is the chief factor, overshadowing all others. The second view holds that sex is of little or no importance, adjustments in this realm being achieved spontaneously if the couple is otherwise well-mated. In a sense both views have in them some validity, the errors in each growing out of over-emphasis and a failure to understand the fundamental nature of sexual adjustment. In the writer's experience as a consultant, sex has always been present as a factor in every case of domestic discord, but it has never appeared as the exclusive factor. Neither is sex the simple nor the isolated factor it is often thought to be, for it appears in a wide range of forms. Some of these variations may be readily recognized, in spite of their indirect expression, but more often sex is intertwined with other elements and becomes thus a part of the general conflict pattern finding expression symbolically, rather than directly. The temptation is to think of sex in too restricted a sense, and this has led to the contradictory views already mentioned. Sex, of course, refers to a physiological impulse, belonging to the larger class of appetites. But like all basic cravings, it becomes overlaid, except in extreme cases, with social experience, finding expression quite as much in demonstrations of affection, mutual identification and sympathy, as in the release of physiological tensions. In fact, such release itself tends to be satisfactory or unsatisfactory to the extent to which it becomes a part of the larger response pattern. This broadening of sex into response is, of course, a variable matter, giving rise to a range of conflict patterns from those in which sex appears in much of its original form, to those in which it all but disappears, so overlaid does it become with sentiment and the emotions of love and affection. Basic to all marriage is the necessity of adjusting to this sex-response situation. Adjustments in this realm are the results of accom-