Self-esteem and likability: Separating fact from fantasy

Abstract

Much research has demonstrated the “vicious cycle” of low self-esteem in nonsocial task performance settings. The present study explores the possibility that social situations may also provide opportunities for low (and high) selfesteem individuals to respond in ways that maintain their self-image. More specifically, it has been shown that low self-esteem individuals believe that others like them to a lesser extent than do high self-esteem persons; such beliefs are bound to perpetuate individuals' self-esteem levels. This study is designed to investigate whether the self-perceptions of either or both groups are consistent with reality (as measured by others' actual liking for them), or are merely reflective of the perceiver's attitude. Unacquainted, opposite sex dyads completed self-esteem and self-likability measures before engaging in a “getting acquainted” conversation. Participants then rated their liking for their partners and estimated their partners' liking for them. Relative to high self-esteem participants, low self-esteem subjects rated themselves as less likable prior to the conversation and estimated that their partners liked them to a lesser extent after the conversation. However, low self-esteem subjects were actually rated by their partners as equally likable as the high self-esteem participants. Alternative explanations, limitations, and implications are discussed.