Secrets, gender norms and honour: Examining tensions in everyday secret-keeping and secret-breaking practices among Syrian refugees

Abstract

While literature on the Middle East has often been preoccupied with the notion of honour and shame, attention on these topics tends to focus on exceptional examples such as honour killings, and less so on everyday practices of upholding honour, including secrecy. Based on anthropological research with Syrian women and men in Jordan, this article explores everyday, gendered practices of secret-keeping and secret-breaking related to six key topics: future plans, marital conflicts, intimate partner violence, relationships with the opposite sex, financial challenges, and personal needs and problems. This article reveals tensions and contradictions in how people adhere to and challenge gender norms in their practices of secret-keeping and secret-breaking. It highlights how secret-keeping is also not only about satisfying (or being seen as satisfying) a collective norm, but at times secrecy may be motivated by self-interest.