Searching for Sharks and a Second Self

Abstract

Twenty years ago, Pastoral Psychology published “The Extra Mile—Case History of a Homicide” (Moss, Pastoral Psychology 42:107–136, 1993, p.134). In that autobiographical vignette, I argued that pastoral theology has a responsibility to: “1) articulate contemporary ultimate concerns, 2) clarify healthy avenues for compensation, and 3) tell stories about the hopeful revelations of God’s providence in a broken world” (Moss, Pastoral Psychology 42:107–136, 1993, p.134). This story illustrates all three of these points by recording a psychological fragmentation and restoration resulting from the death of a dear friend—“a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). Aristotle referred to this type of friend as “a second self.” In the Celtic church such a person was anam cara, a Gaelic expression for “soul friend.” A few years ago I lost such a friend to cancer. During my grieving process I created a private tribute from our unfulfilled wish to go on one more adventure together—specifically, a shark hunt. The capture and release of sharks is a unique extreme sport. It is also the vehicle by which I finally resolved my grief: I reunited with my second self by means of an image in the eye of a requiem shark, a reflection of anam cara. The interrelated layers of this occurrence—particularly its coincidences—evidence Providence, as well as provide an example of a “Contact with the Dead Experience” described by Andrew Greeley and myself some 20 years ago in the Journal of Religion and Health (Moss, Journal of Religion and Health 29:261–283, 1990).