Riding a rollercoaster in a hurricane – researching my own chronic illness

Abstract

PurposeThis article outlines the experience of conducting Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis research into the chronic illness of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, an incurable condition of the gastro-intestinal tract which results in numerous physically and psychologically symptoms that are difficult to live with, by a researcher who shares the same condition. It considers the complex nature of researcher positioning from a nuanced, relational rather than binary insider/outsider position (Berger, 2015; Hayfield and Huxley, 2015). Additionally, the importance of reflexivity when conducting such personal, reciprocal qualitative research is brought to life, illustrating how such reflexivity deepens the relationship to the research, increases understanding of the interpretations and in turn its validity adds to the trustworthiness of both the endeavour and the written account (Etherington, 2007; Oakley, 2016).Design/methodology/approachConducting research into a medical condition that the researcher also experiences brings its own particular challenges (Hofmann and Barker, 2017). When the chosen methodology is Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis, with its in-depth, relational nature, those challenges intensify (Smith, 2009).FindingsUsing researcher journal extracts, the lived experience of researching whilst experiencing a chronic illness is explored. This includes the psychological impact of experiencing deep empathy for others living with IBD, managing the impact of increased disease knowledge, researching through fatigue and experiencing the claustrophobia of living with and researching one's own condition.Originality/valueFinally, tactics for surviving such research are provided in a bid to enable researchers and supervisors embarking on similar projects, to successfully manage the research rollercoaster ride even when it's in the middle of a Hurricane.