Return to Chile, July 1988

Abstract

On each return-and one is always returning-I cross the ferocious, yet benevolent, Andean mountains to reach my Chile, my country divided by daily battles and uncertainties over the fate of the dead and the future of the living. On each return, a traveler to this country of the Southern Cone must cross the enormous snow-covered mountain peaks to reach a land abandoned by a demented geography that whips the inhabitants with storms, earthquakes, and a dictator. The fate of every journey depends on the success of this crossing, either by land or by air. As the plane descends, the first light of dawn begins to spread over my city: Santiago, Chile, winter of 1988. A wandering breeze rustles the branches of the cherry trees that have slowly begun to bloom, suggesting a spring different from the one of 11 September 1973, when the armed forces seized power in one of the most democratic countries in the western hemisphere, and a reign of terror was imposed. The air invades me as I descend from the airplane. I return over and over again to my country's odors and pains. The wise whiteness of the Andes crowns and illuminates us. From the crowd emerges my dear friend, who always awaits my returns. The familiar hug and the nostalgia of so many shared moments accompanies us and, just before dawn, we begin to cross the city's streets. The odor of smoke becomes stronger as we head toward the marginal sections of Santiago, not far from the elegant Pudahuel airport. The streets are full of mud and the smell of madness that announces the presence of homeless and absent people. Phantasmagorical figures rise out of cardboard shacks. Men awaken early to search for discarded cardboard boxes outside the large factories that they will later sell to be able to eat at least once a day. Behind partially closed doors, women wrapped in wide scarves with small children under their arms prepare to panhandle along the city's busiest streets. Many sell their withered bodies for a few miserable pesos, scarcely enough to buy a loaf of bread.