Responsibility and Rumination: The Trouble with Understanding the Dissolution of a Relationship

Abstract

Research on perceived control suggests that individuals who claim responsibility for ending an intimate relationship adapt better to relationship dissolution than do those who eschew such responsibility. The present study examined the role that responsibility for relationship maintenance (investment) plays in cognitive processes related to adaptation. In addition, this study examined the influence of holding the belief that one does or does not understand. It was hypothesized that perceived rejection would lead to poorer adaptation, especially for those who lacked understanding and had perceived themselves as maintaining the relationship. In addition, this study investigated the possibility that understanding what happened may not always lead to better adaptation; that is, a perceived sense of understanding of what events led to the relationship breakup was hypothesized to be associated with poorer adaptation for those individuals who terminated relationships in which they had made a large investment. Participants described past love relationships and then answered questions concerning their thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. Results supported both hypotheses. For individuals who lacked understanding, making a large investment in a relationship that was subsequently terminated by one's partner was tied to relative increases in rumination, perceived stress, and depressed mood. Furthermore, such individuals felt less resolved about the relationship being over and thought more about the details of falling in love with their ex-partner. Similarly, participants who both understood their relationship and ended their own investment reported more ruminations, stress, and depressed mood than did similar participants who lacked understanding. These last findings are discussed in terms of an “accountability” explanation of understanding, control, and adaptation.