Abstract
AbstractHow is it possible to survive as a woman senior leader in the gendered managerial academy? In this autoethnographical article, I illustrate the lived reality, insecurity, and struggle of academic leadership. Drawing from three vignettes, I discuss decision‐making processes, blatant sexist aggressions, and the problematic negation of affect and personal life. Their critical contribution is to expose the consequences of gendered managerialism in the neo‐liberal academy and the false promise of ‘leadership’, in which women continue to experience gender challenges, sexism, and the risk of burnout in their everyday experiences. However, I also show how it is possible to counter the detrimental effects of gendered managerialism through four forms of resistance: resistance through embodied affective authenticity; resistance through solidarities, and social relations with others; resistance through feminist activism; and resistance by stepping back.
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