Reminders of Heteronormativity: Gay Adoptive Fathers Navigating Uninvited Social Interactions

Abstract

Gay adoptive fathers and their children are becoming more visible in American society. Consequently, a deeper understanding is needed of the challenges and opportunities gay fathers experience in social interactions. Using a phenomenological approach, gay adoptive fathers from 20 families were interviewed about their experiences parenting as gay men. Although fathers led fulfilling lives as parents, many of them faced uninvited social interactions that reminded them of their place in a heterosexual order. These reminders of heteronormativity included scrutiny about their parenting, concerns about the well‐being of their children, and decisions regarding disclosing information about their families. This article illustrates the use of a social constructionist lens to understand the emotional burdens gay adoptive fathers carry navigating these interactions in public settings. By narrowing the focus on such encounters, this article attunes practitioners and educators to gay fathers' emotional worlds while deepening their understanding of the social fabric of heteronormativity.