Reconsidering the American emotional culture: Co‐dependency and emotion management

Abstract

Popular images of Americans often portray them as placing considerable value on feelings. Scholarly work reveals a more nuanced picture, in which a rhetoric of emotional intensity and authenticity conceals a moderate ‘emotional culture’. This paper examines the dissemination of that culture through a popular self help group called Codependents Anonymous (CoDA). The psychospiritual discourse of co‐dependency maintains that emotions offer insight into the ‘real’ self that one loses through living in a ‘dysfunctional’ society. The group's meetings consist of elaborate talk about ‘getting in touch with’ the emotions, and, consequently, with the ‘real’ self. This talk communicates techniques of emotion management that minimize intensity and sanction strong emotions. Although members stress the importance of ‘authentic’ expression, they cultivate moderate emotions. This moderation, and not the eager intensity of popular imagery, best characterizes the American emotional climate.