Raising Boys to be Men: Indonesian Muslim Single Mothers’ Perspective

Abstract

Due to the pressure of society on boys as the future heads of households, in addition to the trend of masculinity crisis and male underachievement in education, single parents bear the massive burden of parenting, educating and nurturing boys without the presence of their fathers. Single mothers must prepare specific strategies to fulfil their boys’ need for a father figure. This study aims to provide an overview of single mothers' strategies for parenting their sons. This study uses a qualitative method. The phenomenological approach is used in this study. Researchers used purposive sampling in selecting informants, 5 informants were single mothers, 3 were due to the death of their husbands, and 2 were due to divorce. Data collection was carried out using in-depth interviews and documentation techniques. The analysis uses NVivo software. The findings of this study imply that to build the character of boys, apart from religious education and leadership, it is necessary to teach responsibility and train entrepreneurship skills so that they can stand on their own. To anticipate the father's absence, he can be replaced or rely on close relatives such as uncles, grandfathers and ustadz or teachers as a filler for the male figure. Besides, being a single mother due to divorce does not cut off the child's communication with his biological father. This paper sheds light on cross-gender parenting practices among Muslim single mothers. As a policy maker or social institution, it is appropriate to provide programs that help single mothers care for and educate their sons.