Qualitative analysis of forgiveness towards parents and examination of connections to current romantic relationship in adults from children's homes

Abstract

The primary goal of this study was to find out how adults raised in children's homes perceive and experience forgiveness toward their parents, specifically their mother and father. The secondary goal was to examine any connections between them forgiving their parents and their current romantic relationship. The sample consisted of 10 individuals raised in children's homes, with an average age of 25.7 years (SD = 3.2) and average length of romantic relationship of 3.2 years (SD = 1.03). Data were obtained by semi-structured interview and analyzed using Consensual Qualitative Research (Hill & Knox, 2021). Participants understood forgiveness mainly as the absence of negative emotions and as moving forward. The main motivation for forgiving one’s parent was discussions with children’s home staff and volunteers, but also exhaustion from negative feelings. An important aspect of the forgiveness process was understanding the parent and their life. The process of forgiving one’s mother and father was similar; however, participants experienced greater difficulty forgiving their father and were more willing to reconcile with their mother. The consequences of forgiveness were described mainly in terms of an absence of negative feelings and achieving inner peace. Participants also stated that forgiving a parent was associated with greater satisfaction in their romantic relationship, more open communication and being more understanding of their partner. The results of this study reveal the importance of forgiveness in the lives of people raised in children’s homes, not just in terms of overall quality of life, but also quality of romantic relationship and healing relationships with parents.