Abstract
This article explores the ways gay and queer men employ the concept of ‘play’ in relation to sex. Using Judith Butler’s theory of performativity to analyse the experiences of 16 individuals from Aotearoa New Zealand and Australia who identified as a gay and/or queer man or a member of the gay community, I present how my participants used ‘play’ to refer to casual and/or kinky sexual encounters, describe certain safer sex practices, and delineate the difference between queer and straight sexual identities. ‘Playing’ also involved a range of personally cultivated rules connected to the pursuit of well-being. When these rules were broken, the activity no longer felt ‘playful’ and became risky for some. ‘Play’ was ultimately a way for my participants to discuss how risk, pleasure, desire, identity, relationships, and personal well-being related to sexual practices.
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