Partner self-esteem and interpersonal risk: Rejection from a low self-esteem partner constrains connection and increases depletion

Abstract

Interpersonal rejection activates connectedness goals that are either prioritized or suppressed.We explored whether rejection from a low (vs. high) self-esteem partner influences this process. In study 1 (N = 205) participants exhibited less accessibility to connection-related thoughts following rejection from a low (vs. high) self-esteem partner. Using a dyadic conflict interaction, study 2 (N = 102 couples) revealed that participants engaged in more connection-inhibiting behavior during conflict with a low (vs. high) self-esteem partner. Study 3 (N = 115) used a daily diary design and found that participants reported greater mental exhaustion on days they felt more (vs. less) rejected by a low self-esteem roommate. These effects emerged despite evidence from both self-report (studies 2 and 3) and independent coding (study 1) that rejection from a low self-esteem other was not more painful than rejection from a high self-esteem other. In sum, people appear to use impressions of others' self-esteem to determine whether connectedness goals are suppressed following rejection.