Operation ‘Long Distance Parenting’: the moral struggles of being a Danish soldier and father

Abstract

This article explores how Danish soldiers and fathers combine their moral responsibilities with international military deployment. Based on ethnographic fieldwork among Danish soldiers and their families, I demonstrate how soldiering and fatherhood exist as conflicting gendered moral discourses in the lives of Danish soldier-fathers. I argue that military deployment becomes a situation of moral conflict where Danish soldier-fathers struggle to balance their moral engagements as both professional soldiers and present and involved fathers. Rather than looking at military deployment as a temporally and spatially bounded experience, I suggest it is more useful to understand deployment as a life circumstance that continuously forces soldier-fathers to make conscious moral decisions. From this perspective, I explore two strategies used by Danish soldier-fathers to maintain their social and moral engagement as both soldiers and fathers. Firstly, I demonstrate how soldier-fathers create alternative narratives of ‘good’ fatherhood by challenging a moral discourse of the physically present father. Secondly, I show how online technologies simultaneously become a strategy for soldier-fathers to ‘be there’ as fathers during deployment as well as a trigger of moral concern when the fathers are unable to provide the support needed on the home front. The aim of the article is thus to demonstrate how Danish soldier-fathers navigate conflicting moral terrains, as well as how they negotiate and challenge existing gendered norms and moralities through their continuous struggles.